something about starting my own business and doubting myself... wondering if i made a huge mistake is what keeps my mind busy at all hours. nighttime is when my thoughts run a million miles a minute. you know... the 'you're extremely tired & falling asleep on the couch, so you go to bed & then can't shut your mind off' type of thing. i can't even really explain the source of all the anxiety or why i have so much to think about... mainly doubts and worry.
doubt is real. and if you're not careful, it'll crush your dreams before you even realize it! i kick myself all the time for not getting in a better habit of writing in a prayer journal. a prayer journal is gold to me because through several trials, i have looked back and read how god was faithful to ME. the bible is anointed in so many ways and you see god's hand working in the lives of those people all the time, but to be able to read how YOU weren't sure how things would work out and then to read and see how god's sovereign hand was working the whole time... it's just different.
i've found myself getting busier and busier with various things in the last few weeks. mops steering team, my stella & dot venture and the children's dept leadership team at my church are just a couple of the things that will be keeping me busy! i'm excited, but also trying so hard to be overly aware of time commitments and such and not burn myself out. but... sometimes, i think we can totally miss things in life by trying to control everything... by trying to not be too committed. y'know? sometimes, we really just need to trust that god opens the appropriate doors at the appropriate times and just leave it at that.
lafayette is feeling more & more like home every day. the people i would've thought we'd spend all of our weekends with ended up being some of the people we see the least. and most of the people i'm closest to are people i hadn't even met before moving here. but ya know what? that's totally ok. i love how everything has panned out! i truly believe that god knows exactly who we need in each season of life. and, to be honest, just within the last 3 mos or so is when i've really started finding my niche. and it. feels. great!
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